Only in the US of A

For the past few days America has been gripped by another tragedy. A tragedy so awful, that the whole world is paying attention on it. Forget about all the other problems in the world like Iraq and Global warming, this is more important, with American media giving it full coverage. People are crying out in anger at the injustice of it all. Experts are debating about the dire consequences of it all.

So what is this great tragedy? No it’s not another mad gunman on a shooting rampage. All the fuss is about a spoilt little rich girl, the (co called) princess of America, Paris Hilton, or as Anderson Cooper calls her, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, going to jail. That is what all the drama is about.

The whole drama of it is like this. Sometime recently she got busted for violating the probation (yeah she was already on probation for an earlier offence), driving under the influence (of you know what) and driving with a suspended license. So the judge got mad and sentenced her to the slammer for 45 days. She started her jail sentence with a bang by partying the night before. So she’s in jail, and in about 2 or 3 days the sheriff decides to let her go home under house arrest, because jail doesn’t agree with her (Duh…it’s not supposed to agree with you). What a nice man!!! Rumors have it that Grandpa Hilton has been generous in the sheriff’s election campaign. The judge meanwhile gets more pissed by this and orders PH back into court and puts her in the slammer again. So now she’s spending time on the Hospital wing because apparently she’s sick. I think she’s been getting some pointers from our local politicians on “How to get the best of your jail-time”.

She’s then put out some statement saying how sorry she was, and not doing it again, that jail is like being in a cage (Duh…It is a cage), that she found God (Ok I didn’t know that God was lost and what was (S)he doing in jail?), that she was not dumb but acting like that all this time (shocked!!! Who would’ve guessed that it was an act, maybe she has some talent after all) and some other crap to get some sympathy votes.

I still don’t get what she is all about. She has no talent. She did “Simple Life” which I haven’t seen nor have no desire to see either. Put out an album, which died a natural death. She has no job, unless you call parting all night, getting drunk and appearing on self-made porn, a vocation. The only thing working for her is that she’s an heiress with tons of money. Man If I had half of that money I’d buy a big farm somewhere, invest the rest and live off the interest, but that’s just me. If I’d been her grandpa, I’d have cut off her cash flow a long time ago.

Yet this talent less, jobless, drunken, spoilt little rich girl is the sweetheart of America. They keep people like this on a pedestal and encourage them to do more stupid things. Why? I don’t know.

For those who has had enough of her here’s some good news

On other weird news, a judge in Washington is suing a dry cleaners for UD$ 54 million for misplacing his pants. It seems that he has suffered severe emotional damage by the loss of his pants. How emotionally attached can you get to a pair of pants. He was testifying in court and got so emotionally choked up talking about the pants that he had to leave the courtroom to have a cry. I have nothing more to say your honor.

As the great warrior Obelix might say “These Americans are Crazy”.