Thursday, January 29, 2009

A letter of response to the spate of Roach hate posts on the blogsphere, by the High Council of Roaches

Dear Mr. Jerry and other members of the human species,

This is in response to several blog posts written by you and members of your species, which we find rather insulting and hurtful.

We resent being called stupid and are deeply hurt that you and many of your species feel that way. Ever since your species got self awareness and a bit of brains, you have been giving us a hard time. Call us creepy, slithering, yucky, but it doesn’t matter, we don’t bother with that. However, being called stupid does stir up some sadness in our hearts. That is why we thought of voicing our thoughts on this matter.

As dear Dee has commented on your post, we have been around for millions of years on this planet. We were already a highly evolved and civilized species already, when walking on two legs was merely a distant dream on a fur covered apes mind. Please don’t patronize us. We are far more intelligent than humans will ever be. The form is not what matters, and for us, this has worked out wonderfully. Haven’t you heard the saying “the bigger they are, the harder they fall”? well who do you think coined the phrase?

Your giant form is not suitable for this planet. It leads to more consumption, more waste, and less energy efficiency. We on the other hand, we can make it on a very little of everything. This has been the key to our continued success. In the end Mr. Jerry, we will still be around for many more millions of year, after you humans have killed off each other in your greed and lust for power and money. We are survivors…

For your information, we do know how to spell nuclear warhead, unlike the one of your species who kept referring to it as nucaler. It’s still a mystery to us how that man became the president of a power house. Then again, it speaks volumes about the rest of your species who voted for him. However, unlike you we don’t play with the stuff. We do not have this persistent need to kill of any of our kind, unlike yours do.

We also do not carry any grudges against all of the atrocities your species have committed against us over the years. But make no mistake, that this is not out of fear. No, we have more respect for life than you do. Had we taken offense against your actions, believe me, you’d still be covered in fur and running around on four legs, and dinosaurs would still be roaming the earth. Please don't make us regret giving your ancestors a little evolutionary boost.

We would like to wish your species all the success in the future, and hopefully you’d be around for many years without destroying yourself and the planet for that matter. We hope that the planet will survive you, but just in case, we already have a evacuation plan. Our scientist are pretty good at this space stuff.

Hopefully our two species can come to an understanding and you will refrain from calling us stupid in the future.

Power to the roaches!!!

Thank you
Yours faithfully
J. J. Adamroach
High Council of Roaches

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Boats on a Frozen Lake...among other things

Lately I've been turning into a lazy bum, lying in bed, watching TV. I blame Winter for this. The thought of piling on several layers of clothing, just to go out is not my idea of fun :(. Piece of advice, never keep a TV in your bedroom, if you don't wannna end up like a lazy arsed slob. I never used to watch TV much but been watching a lot lately. Hope i can break the habit once i'm back home :)

Anywhoo some pics of Toronto and a frozen up lake Onatario.

Downtown Toronto

Downtown Toronto
White as far as the eye can see
Boats on a Frozen Lake
Boats on a Frozen Lake
Boats on a Frozen Lake
Boats on a Frozen Lake
Boats on a Frozen Lake
Boats on a Frozen Lake
Boats on a Frozen Lake

Keep on trucking
Downtown Toronto
Downtown Toronto
Standing tall and looking down on all

Monday, January 19, 2009

World's Toughest Sporting Events

I came across this list while trawling through sites on a slow day at work. These are some of the most grueling sporting events in the world today that tests human and sometimes animal endurance to their limit.

Select the title for more details from Wiki.

1. Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race
This takes the number one spot, although it's the dogs that do all the hard work. Heavily criticized by Animal rights activists, this annual sled dog race in Alaska covers a distance of 1868 km, in about 8 - 15 days. It takes place in the dead of winter in midst of sub-zero temperatures and gale force winds and blizzards, where wind chill can go down to about -75C. The current fastest time to finish the race was 8 days, 22 hours, 46 minutes, and 2 seconds in 2002. The mushers use a sled with a team of 16 dogs.

2. Dakar Rally
The king of all off-road rally races, it covered a route from Paris France to Dakar in Senegal, although the actual route varied in different years. However this year it has gone away from Africa and moved to South America, due to security problems in the African continent. This time it goes from Buenos Aires, Argentina, to Valparasion, Chile and back to Buenos Aires, and covers a total distance of 9574km in 15 days. The race is currently on, which started on the 03rd of January and will end on the 18th of January.

More details at official Dakar Rally 2009 site

3. Vendee Globe
Not for the faint of heart, this is an around the world solo yacht race. Starting and ending in the port town of Les Sables-d'Olonne, France. The route goes down the Atlantic ocean, around the Cape of Good Hope and clockwise around the Antarctic, and back again to France. Like the Olympics, this is also held every four years from November to February, and the 2008/2009 race is currently under way.

4. Marathon des Sables
Also known as the "Marathon of the Sands", it is what is known as an ultramarathon, a marathon that is longer than the traditional 42km. This is a six day marathon that covers a distance of 254km, held every year in the southern Moroccan desert. As a bonus the runners must also carry their personal belongings and food in backpacks, while water and tents are supplied by the organizers.

5. Grand National Steeplechase
A four mile steeplechase run with 30 fences to jump, with some of the hardest jumps in any race. This is also one of the oldest of the lot, running for about 162 years. Here again, most of the work is done by the horses and there have been 57 equine fatalities, which makes it another hot event animal rights activists are trying to ban.

6. Tour de France
No introduction necessary on this one. A 3500km cycle race through France covered in 23 days, since 1903.

7. 24 Hours of LeMans
Dubbed the Grand Prix of Endurance, This is a motor race which goes on non-stop for 24 hours, where the focus is on the reliability of the car, in addition to the speed. It’s run in the small town of Le Mans in France, since 1923. In the early days there was no rule regarding the number of drivers per car, but now the rule is that no one driver can drive consecutively for 4 hours and no driver can run for 14 hours total, so now the team usually consists of 3 drivers.

As for the cars that won, Porsche takes the top spot with 15 wins, Ferrari in second with 9 wins, and Audi third with 8 wins. As a matter of fact, Audi has won it for the last 5 years straight.

List of winners

8. Ironman Triathlon
Triathlon consisting of 3.9km swim, 180km bike ride and a 42.2 km marathon run. It is held annually since 1973 in Hawaii.

9. Atlantic Rowing Race
This is an ocean rowing race covering a distance of 4700km, from the Canary Islands to the West Indies, started in 1997, with races held every two years.

10. Decathlon
Two days completion in 10 track and field events, which includes:
100 meters, 110m hurdles, Long jump, shot put, High jump, 400 meters, Discus, Pole vault, Javelin and the 1500 meters.

All these extreme sporting events test the limits of human endurance and stamina, and all the men and women who take part can be considered the best sportspeople in the world. Maybe even superhuman when compared to the rest of us.

I personally think that the Iditarod and the Grande National takes a more toll on the animals, but mushers and the jockeys have their fair share of pain as well.

To all those who have participated in these event, YOU ROCK!!!

Image Credits

1. Iditarod Dog Sled Race -
2. Dakar Rally -
3. Vendee Globe Solo -
4. Marathon des Sables -
5. Grand National -
6. Tour de France -
7. 24 Hours of LeMans -
8. Ironman -
9. Atlantic Rowing Race -
10. Decathlon -

Friday, January 16, 2009

If you want to have with your co-workers...

wait for the coldest day of the season and set off the fire alarm, and you can merrily watch them run out the door into the cold.

Someone or something set off the fire alarm at the office, not once, noooo, three bloody times during the afternoon. Had to run out and slowly turn into a Popsicle while the Fireboys came and sorted things out. The building is still standing so i guess it was a false alarm. The two later times were just false alarms though :)

I seriously can't feel my face now, and too tired from running up and down the stairs. bah...

Sould've headed home like half of the people.

Monday, January 12, 2009

A Megalomaniac's Dream

People say that I do not care for anyone
but i beg to differ,
I care for the most important person
Me, I, the one true being,
I'm the sun, the guiding light,
around which the world revolves
You are here to serve me,
to comply all my little whims
a privilege which to be thankful for
Your suffering is no concern of mine
because you are nothing to me
A piece of furniture in the background
that can be replaced, or better yet,
be destroyed if it does not serve it's purpose
after all I'm happy
and that is the most important
I have the power and the money
while you have nothing
People and nations bow down to me
they cringe in fear when I speak
Hide their faces in shame when i look at them
for they know that they are not worthy
But the day that you threaten my power
is the day that I hunt you down
like a wolf after a deer,
to the ends of the earth,
through day and night,
there is no escape
You can not defy me

This goes out to all the assholes, going back to the time of the cave man, who fucked up this beautiful world for the rest of us... You suck big time :P

Don't mind me, kinda feeling depressed about the goings on in this world. Oh well, life goes on...

Peace y'all

Monday, January 05, 2009

Santa Clause Diaries Part II

The first part is here


Somewhere ( ...a secret place ;) ) in the North Pole.

Oh man...there's nothing like a warm bubble bath to relax oneself after some hard work, and to get this frozen arctic air out of your hair. It's been pretty hectic I tell ya, this delivering toys business. Whew, luckily i do this once a year.

Things got off to a good start this time around. I had the good sense to keep Rudy in isolation for a coupla days, so that he won't be able sneak any drinks. Oh don't give me that look. Do you know how hard it is to steer a sleigh with a drunken Reindeer in the lead? Huh? Ok I did let him loose after we got back, haven't seen him for days now. Bugger is probably having a rockin good time somewhere warm.

It's getting bloody tiresome and dangerous to fly these days, what with all the military crack downs and all those no fly zones. Humans are getting pretty advanced when it comes to technology. All those spy satellites floating in space. They can now even track magical sleighs. Can you believe that. Me thinks its time to get some magical upgrades. There I was riding merrily with a Ho Ho Ho, when out of nowhere these two fighter jets come right at me. Nearly tipped the sleigh over. Didn't even get a chance to balance off before they started shooting at me. Damn cheek of them, and to think I gave them present long ago. Probably gave them toy planes for all I know. Managed to make myself invisible just in time. Created a nice little blizzard for them to deal with Ho Ho Ho. Oh man, that was a close one. Left a huge lump of coal in GWB's stocking. Cry away Georgie, you aint getting nothing from me after that little stunt.

You know... come to think of it, I left more lumps of coal than i left toys. The naughty list is longer by several pages than the nice list. If this keeps up, I might just become a coal deliverer. Ho Ho Ho. Ok seriously kids, be nice. Your screwing with my job here. Kids these days. Don't know what's happening with them.

Oh, one thing I’d like to put straight here. I DO NOT CLIMB DOWN CHIMMINEYS. Who the heck had that bright idea? "let’s make Santa come down a chimney” Oh genius. I mean why would anyone want to come down chimneys when there are perfectly good doors around. Anyway, you don’t really expect me to fit inside a chimney do you? Half the people never even keep them clean. I’d be covered in soot if I go up and down those. I can just imagine the complaints from the laundry department. And what about the houses that don’t have chimney’s? hmmmm? Anyone think about that? Going down chimney’s…Bah… In truth I just walk through walls. I am magical after all. It beats opening and closing doors.

Anywhoo, the new year has come and gone, with no major change in the world. It's still a shitty place. ok ok I admit, there are many good things, but the shit take centerstage all the time. A few bad apples really does upset the whole bloody cart. When will these humans ever learn and change. *sigh*

Bah, time to start packing, I'm off to the Bahamas for some chill time, another 11 months of chill time. Who knows, the way things are going I might not need to get back on the saddle in '09. Adios to all.