Friday, February 20, 2009

Yet another twisted nursery rhyme – Jack and Jill

I haven't done one of these in a long while, so here goes...:D
---

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To buy a bottle of grog,
They huffed and puffed
All the way up
To see the man
Who made the grog,
A rickety little hut
Stood at the top
With broken chimneys
Billowing puffy smoke,
Bang went the door
And out he came,
Rolly polly with a bouncy gait
A big bushy moustache
Under a knobby nose,
With a one-toothed grin
He welcomed them in
‘Hello lady and gent,
Welcome to my castle,
Come, share my grog
Tis the best
Wherever you go’,

‘Moldy grapes and, rotting Apples,
All in the barrel with festering peaches,
An eye of Newt,
A foot of Toad ,
And dried Batwings galore,
Round them all off
With a pinch of KCN,
That’s the secret to my grog
The best you’ll taste
In all the world',
He made an offer
They couldn’t refuse,
And six bottles full
They bought from him,
‘One for Pappy
One for Mammy
And four bottles full
For you and me',

Jack and Jill
Went down the hill,
Happy as bunnies
On a long summers day,
They opened a bottle,
Took a few sips,
And before they knew
The world was spinning,
‘Look at the pretty colors
All floating around’
They cried all the way
Tumbling down,
A very steep hill,
Broken bones and
Purple bruisers
They weren’t a pretty sight,
But worry not
The precious was safe,
Laid up in bed
They sipped the grog,
And spent their days
In an euphoric daze


7 comments:

Makuluwo said...

Haha! This one's better with the happy ending, than the morbid original. :P

Love the picture, nothing funnier to someone with a warped sense of humour than 2 wasted kids! ;D

TheWhacksteR said...

wait is that Smirnoff? lol

nice poem man. at least they werent smoking or anything

Dee said...

haha! great!

Lady divine said...

it's been a really loooooooooooooooong time since you posted one of these!!!

enjoyed reading it :D

blackexists said...

lol... jill seems OUT OF CONTROL!!! :D

nice one!

next time they may go up so smoke a bong! :D

Azrael said...

Thank ye all kindly :)

passionatelypatient said...

"They huffed and puffed
All the way up
To see the man
Who . . . .

.
.
.
.

made the grog!!!!"

I couldn't help laughing out loud!
Brilliant, Azrael!