Thursday, January 29, 2009

A letter of response to the spate of Roach hate posts on the blogsphere, by the High Council of Roaches

Dear Mr. Jerry and other members of the human species,

This is in response to several blog posts written by you and members of your species, which we find rather insulting and hurtful.

We resent being called stupid and are deeply hurt that you and many of your species feel that way. Ever since your species got self awareness and a bit of brains, you have been giving us a hard time. Call us creepy, slithering, yucky, but it doesn’t matter, we don’t bother with that. However, being called stupid does stir up some sadness in our hearts. That is why we thought of voicing our thoughts on this matter.

As dear Dee has commented on your post, we have been around for millions of years on this planet. We were already a highly evolved and civilized species already, when walking on two legs was merely a distant dream on a fur covered apes mind. Please don’t patronize us. We are far more intelligent than humans will ever be. The form is not what matters, and for us, this has worked out wonderfully. Haven’t you heard the saying “the bigger they are, the harder they fall”? well who do you think coined the phrase?

Your giant form is not suitable for this planet. It leads to more consumption, more waste, and less energy efficiency. We on the other hand, we can make it on a very little of everything. This has been the key to our continued success. In the end Mr. Jerry, we will still be around for many more millions of year, after you humans have killed off each other in your greed and lust for power and money. We are survivors…

For your information, we do know how to spell nuclear warhead, unlike the one of your species who kept referring to it as nucaler. It’s still a mystery to us how that man became the president of a power house. Then again, it speaks volumes about the rest of your species who voted for him. However, unlike you we don’t play with the stuff. We do not have this persistent need to kill of any of our kind, unlike yours do.

We also do not carry any grudges against all of the atrocities your species have committed against us over the years. But make no mistake, that this is not out of fear. No, we have more respect for life than you do. Had we taken offense against your actions, believe me, you’d still be covered in fur and running around on four legs, and dinosaurs would still be roaming the earth. Please don't make us regret giving your ancestors a little evolutionary boost.

We would like to wish your species all the success in the future, and hopefully you’d be around for many years without destroying yourself and the planet for that matter. We hope that the planet will survive you, but just in case, we already have a evacuation plan. Our scientist are pretty good at this space stuff.

Hopefully our two species can come to an understanding and you will refrain from calling us stupid in the future.

Power to the roaches!!!

Thank you
Yours faithfully
J. J. Adamroach
High Council of Roaches


Delilah said...

As much as I appreaciate the dig at that show-off Jerry, my fingers are itching to reach for the Mortein can as i read!!!

Makuluwo said...

LOL! Gawd, well written, Azrael. Bravo! ;D

Lady divine said...

superb post!!! but it still doesn't make me feel any different about them!

Jerry said...


..and, "show-off" Jerry? wtf??

Go here for reply-

Anonymous said...

haw haw!
well written indeed!
but sorry. I'm Sticking with the mortein spray. :P

චතුර වික්‍රමරත්න said...

Hahahaha. . . wonderfully written. . . Great post. . . But sorry to say u ddnt change how i feel about the cockroach. . . If i see one still i'd reach for the slipper or a Mortein Can :D

Anonymous said...

LMAO!! Awesomeness post..

Yes but still Mr. Adamroach we wont hesitate to kill u because you give us the creeps.

If you are good at the space stuff pls leave this planet and go somewhere else where u wont be called stupid

Thank you.


Azrael said...

Thank ye kindly for the comments, but still the discrimination continues :(