Friday, June 06, 2008

Can People be this Stupid?

A conversation that happened in a Liquor store in Hawaii


Cashier: “Aloha, how are you today?”
Tourist: “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish. Could you talk in English please?”
Cashier: “Hello, how are you today?”
Tourist: “Fine, we just flew here from America today.”
(The cashier rings up the tourist’s few items.)
Cashier: “That will be twenty five dollars and eighty five cents.”
Tourist: “Do you take American money here? I only have American money. I have not been able to get to the currency exchange yet.”
Cashier: “Ma’am, we are in the United States. We take dollars here.”
Tourist: “Oh really? You take this money?” *holds up her $20 bill*
Cashier: “Yes, ma’am, those are dollars, and being a US state we do accept those.”
Tourist: “Well that’s very nice of you to accept foreign money.”
Cashier: *puzzled* “Mahalo, have a great day!”
Tourist: *under her breath* “I told her I didn’t speak Spanish!”

Conversation between a Pizza parlor and a customer


Customer: “Hi, I ordered a pizza from you guys a while ago, and they delivered the wrong one.”
Operator: “Oh, I’m sorry! What was your order?”
Customer: “Mushrooms and green onions… the one we got had sausage. We can’t eat sausage! We’re vegetarians!”
Operator: “Okay, do you still have the pizza? We can come by and switch them for you.”
Customer: “No, we ate it.”
Operator: “You ate it?”
Customer: “Yes! Now, I’d like to get my money back. It was the wrong pizza.”
Operator: “So… you want me to give you your money back… for a pizza you already ate.”
Customer: “Well we didn’t LOOK at it, we just ate it.”


Tech Support


(Back story: the customer was getting a blue screen of death on their computer.)
Operator: “Hello, thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you today?”
Customer: “I was wondering if you could tell me who general failure is and why he is trying to read the C drive on my computer?”
Operator: “Ummm…excuse me?”
Customer: “I said that some guy named General Failure is reading my C drive.”
Operator: “…How did you come to this conclusion?”
Customer: “When I booted up my computer I get a big blue screen that says “General failure reading drive C,” and I demand to know who this person is!”
Operator: *stifling laughter* “Okay, if you don’t mind I am going to place you on hold for about 10 minutes while I do an investigation as to who this person is…”
(I placed customer on hold and told my co-workers. We laughed our asses off for 10 minutes.)
Operator: “Thank you for holding. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I was able to find some information for you. The bad news is that I wasn’t able to confirm who this ‘General Failure’ is; I am sure he doesn’t work for us. The other thing is that your hard drive is fried, and I would advise you to try to pull any data you can off the drive and invest in a new one. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”
Customer: “Um…no thank you.”


In a Supermarket


Customer: “What the f**k, you shortchanged me!”
Cashier: “Ma’am, I gave you the exact amount of change that is on the receipt.”
Customer: “BULLS**T! YOU SHORTCHANGED ME YOU STUPID LITTLE F**K! I DEMAND THAT YOU GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW!”
Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I will go get a manager for you right away.”
Customer: “F**K YOU, YOU LITTLE PIECE OH S**T! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS. YOU WILL PAY!”
(At this point the customer began to storm down the aisles. She lit a cigarette and began setting merchandise on fire. Afterwards she ran from the store because she realized that she had in fact had gotten the right amount of change!)

This were real conversation that had happened between customers and shopkeepers. There’s a whole site dedicated to these called http://notalwaysright.com/, and I seriously suggest everyone to go through them. :) It’s a great pick me upper when those blues kick in.


http://notalwaysright.com/


Cheers

3 comments:

Queen of the Dark Asylum said...

hahahah. retards!

niroshinie said...

heh heh so funny! especially the hawai one! thanks for sharing

Scrumpulicious said...

That cheered me up no end! Love it! :)